• chantalmcanales

Don't Worry About Finding Your Perfect Relationship In College, Worry About Finding Yourself

In the movies, college is all about finding the "one," the person you are supposed to fall in love with and spend the rest of your life with. Especially at Baylor, "Ring By Spring," a tradition that a girl gets engaged by the spring of her senior year, serves as a reminder of what some people think college is about. But I think you shouldn't be earning your MRS degree in college. I'm a firm believer that you should find yourself in college.

Whether you move to college far from home or just a 30-minute drive down the road, this is a time to explore who you are beyond the relationships between you and your family. It's a time of self-discovery, finding out what you are passionate about and what you want to do beyond your four years here.

In psychology, the theory of nature versus nurture is still debated to this day. Nature, the side focused on our biological factors shaping our development, comes from our parents. Nurture, on the other hand, is how our parents raise us in their different parenting styles. We base all of our quirks, mannerisms, and behaviors on our parents. And we love them because they made us who we are.

But when you go to college, you are alone most likely for the first time. This is a time to discover who you truly are, beyond the world of your parents. In high school, you had a bit of time to discover your passions and your possible career, but now is the prime time to discover what you truly want to do with the rest of your life. Formulate your own opinions, viewpoints, and thoughts.

There are so many people that date when they are in college, and that is perfectly fine. Yes, you can find the one person you are meant to be with for the rest of your life, but don't make it your heart's sole mission of your time in college. Instead, take classes that peak your interest and get you excited about studying the material. Make friends that will be there for you through some of the toughest times of your life. Take time to find out who you truly are before you commit yourself to someone else, whether it's for a few weeks or a couple of years.

As a person who has never had a real relationship (besides with a kid in elementary school during recess), I have never felt what it's like to share with someone who I truly am on that level. And that's okay. But for those who are searching for their "one" before they find themselves, take a moment to stop and pause. If you are searching for your "one," how can you know they are the "one" without knowing who you are? Think about who you are now and who you want to be in five years, 10 or 20 years down the line.

You can't determine who you are going to spend that time with without giving consideration to your goals, aspirations, and wishes for the future.

Yes, you can date in college. Have fun and enjoy your time here, because it's only four short years. But find yourself before you try to find Mr. or Mrs. Perfect.